surusilmä's castle

today is warm, even though mr sun is only making a brief appearance.

today my head is hurting and i feel sick, and slightly dizzy.

today.
today today today.


today surusilmä will escape to her castle, even though it's not much of a castle. a library isn't a castle, but she can dream. play pretend.

today she will listen to music all day, ignore everything. dead to the world. but music can't block out everything.

today, most likely, scanty drops of salty water might fall from those sad eyes. she wonders if anyone would be there to stop them from staining her face. wonders if anyone cares enough to prevent them from stinging her eyes.

"but does anyone notice, but does anyone care".



i can't stand when people ask me if i'm okay.

i wish very dearly to be able break down an cry and tell them everything that's wrong.

but i can't do that.

can't let anyone see me cry.


so i'm sorry, if i give you a weak excuse such as "my head just hurts" or "i'm just tired".


but for how long will i be able to keep this up~?

so maybe, today,
huddled in a corner, high up in surusilmä's castle,

maybe i'll cry.










today

i cried.