kitto, hitori ha sabishii~

Dear Diary,
Caspa and Feilix
Hate me, and I
don't know what
to do.
Every
time I
try to sit with
them, they go
away. Please
Help!

i wrote that in a diary when i was five.

casper and felix were two brothers i knew, they caught my bus and don't live too far from me. judging from this, they didn't like me


but no one likes me anyway



i went in search of a book i owned, it was based off the movie Anastasia and played sounds when its buttons were pressed
one of the sounds was the song called Once Apon a December, and it sounds beautiful in finnish

kerran joulukun aikaan.

ミツケラレナイ。


if i were to go in search of dolls, toys, anything i owned,

ミツケラレナイ。


my memories are becoming broken

i'm losing my memories

i'm losing myself.


i went to a beach i visited quite often when i was little
half of the playground was missing, a set of two lonely swings in its place
a place behind the playground, filled with grass, disappeared



losing myself.




do you know how it feels to be the only one in your house on a cold summer's night to be sleeping alone?

my grandparents shared a bed.

my parents shared a bed.

my brother and his girlfriend shared a bed.


i fell asleep alone
with only my computer for company.


but it will be a very long time before i'm able to sleep in the arms of the one i love, so i guess i should just suck it up and get used to it.


crybaby.


i'm a goddamn crybaby!



my brother aimed his massive nerf gun at me, and shot a foam bullet at my chest, hit me right on the middle of my collar bone

my mother yelled at me and said i was overreacting.


why do i cry so easily~?

do i have borderline personality disorder or smth?


.


i feel so lonely

god, so lonely


ghostooo ni naritai.




.